Roguecons
General Category => Sneak Peek => Topic started by: Pigboy on December 21, 2019, 03:11:40 PM
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What a gaggle of garbage. I had no desire to see the movie, or put another dime in Luke's (Mark "I hate America" Hamell) pockets. Unfortunately Kathy wanted to watch it, and I wanted to do something with her today. First off, she liked it.
I thought it was as forgettable as Episode 1 The Phantom Menace. The effects were horrible, including the shadowy fuzzy reanimation of Carrie Fisher in her many scenes. The young Luke and Leia flash backs were horrible to laughable. There is a massive plot gap that was introduced in this last (?) in the Starwars series; that was that Leia was training with and possibly trained by Luke sometime in the past (by the looks of them it was when they were in their 20's). The machine gun dialogue for the first half of the movie was impossible to sort through, and at no point did they ever let a topic or point sink in, they blew by them at light speed. It felt like they were trying to cram so much into the first half of the movie that they thought it would be best to compress dialogue into often instant follow-up statements, and sometimes with crazy over talking (when Rey, Poe and Finn first meet on screen this time around). The blatant attempts to force the one way bi-racial relationship between Rey and Finn were even stronger this time around; Finn never says it, but his love for Rey is so palpable that you could almost see the relationship devolving into a rape scene. Mark Hamell must tip the scales around 230 now, and no amount of Jedi ghosting cloak could cover the fact he was FAT. The lightspeed jumps that Poe does while acting as captain of the Millennium Falcon were in no way believable, as he always jumped into sceneries that were unnavigable, each with massive pillars and objects that could not be anticipated by any computer (ever), but they glide right through them. The entire movie seemed to be an ode to the past, and characters from each of the previous movies was featured in this one (save Jar Jar and Jabba - an argument that Jabba was represented in the lame attempt to recreate a walk-through of yet another cantina). The creatures were the same with a couple exceptions, and the new creature/feature was a little mumbling character about a foot tall with full sized human hands that performed brain surgery on C3PO.
Massive spoiler - When Rey returns to some planet where everyone is celebrating, and Kylo has become a good guy that gives his life force over to bring Rey back to life, it is the least emotionless collection of scenes ever put on screen through the (now) 10 Star Wars movies in just over 42 years. But let me tell you about one scene that is given special focus: dead center of the movie screen with a bit of build up during the celebration, two women walk up and lock lips for a passionate kiss and embrace. It felt like the entire movie was a passion play whos entire buildup was to lead us to this lesbian kiss.
To wrap it up Rey returns to the original home world of Luke where his adoptive parents raised him and were murdered by the sand people. Same igloo, same pit with the two generators, but now sand had infiltrated most everything (the most real to life part of the whole movie). Rey now has the Lightsaber of Luke and Leia, performs some kind of ceremonial cloth wrapping of both, and with mind/Jedi power buries both just outside of the hut in the sand. The Emperor is now dead, no, really this time. Kylo is almost guaranteed to be gone and has followed the Emperor (?? Dead, not dead, dead again) into the Jedi after life. Leia is really dead now, and passed her life force to Rey through Kylo, and the formality of a kiss is the transfer of the life force. All of this being said, Star Wars should be put to bed, but I think the burying of the two light sabers was a tilt of the head, and should this one do well at the box office, I fully expect to see another flop on the near horizon.
Would I recommend it? NO. Even to wrap it up as a 9 (?) part saga that spans 42 years? NO. Is the acting any good? NO ((but some of the acting is better than Jake Lloyd (young Anakin), and way better than Hayden Christensen (teenaged Anakin), or the least believable character ever to grace the silver screen from Star Wars; Natalie Portman (aside from her education, not a talented bone in her body)). Were any of the space battles any good? NO, and this is down to the last major battle between thousands of star cruisers and a bunch of volunteers who flew personal space ships in from all over the galaxy to fight the Sith Emporer, a stadium of Sith Lords, and sithalus (a general infection of siths?). The best ship in the galaxy is still the Millennium Falcon, but in this movie they have managed to remove the soul from even that ship and make it feel very pedestrian.
J.J. Abrams is now a horrible activist director, and that was a very rapid transition, because he has made some pretty good movies (a couple of Star Trek's, the Cloverfield series, and a couple Mission Impossible's - Super 8, Overlord and The Fringe were horrible, as was The Force Awakens).
It's been clear for some time now that Holliweird is there for only one reason, and that is to force agendas, and distort social norms. Mission accomplished.
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Havent read your piece yet, gonna go see it tonight, I'm ambivalent over it, hubby wants to go see it, so..... (I much prefer to go see Jumanji: The next Level instead, maybe next week?)
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The storyline sucked donkey balls, it went all over the place, grasping for something that wasn't there.
My husband fell asleep Three times through the movie, it was THAT damned boring
Seems JJ Abrams does a damned good job wrecking old franchises, first Star Trek, now this....
Jesus I'm pissed over a lot from this movie, they killed off Leis stupidly in the movie, and all for no reason.
I wasted my money on this and I came away pissed for it.
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Gonna hafta say this Movie franchise got J.J. Abram'ed